How Finding my Why helped me in my journey

When I had this experience, and I found my why, one of the things I realized was “I’ll never get a first author paper out of this postdoc”. That was extremely sad for me to realize. But I felt really calm, in that “it's not going to work. Next step” type of feeling. I knew it was true, and also that I needed to let go of the particular attachment of getting a paper in service of my primary motivation.

Once I was armed with my why, I rearranged some things in my life to serve my ultimate motivation. I still worked incredibly hard, i mean its a postdoc. BUT…

I spent less time trying to convince my supervisor about a particular course of action. I just did my work and followed orders.

I spent more time talking to people about their immigration journey. I suddenly had the energy to do these things.

I learned that many people had consulted a few lawyers. (Invariably one firm would say that more credentials were needed for a successful immigration process, and another firm would take the case successfully with the existing credentials). This gave me confidence, and the energy to keep going. I learned more about the resources the university had for me. I met university employees who were knowledgeable and actually interested in helping me.  

And then, things in my life started rearranging themselves in helping me. A dear friend let me know of a lawyer who was open for a consultation at an extremely reasonable price. That conversation with the lawyer was incredibly eye-opening and helpful. This filled me with energy to get through the days in the lab, and actually, my interactions with my boss became less loaded. 

I found out that being a reviewer would be beneficial for my application. The next day I received a totally unprompted email from a prestigious journal telling me I had been registered as a reviewer by my boss. And that I had a couple of papers waiting for me to review them. I’m telling you, things started happening, and paths forward started emerging. Most importantly, there was more energy in my life available to me.

Before this clarity, taking action in my life looked a bit disorganized. I sort of stumbled into pockets of energy, either by being deeply angry (which moved me into clear action) or in deep despair (which made me whiny but let me ask for help). I also often ended up in deep procrastination.

Finding out my why galvanized me and helped me prioritize so I could actually reach my goals.